The Journal of Creation, Part 1

What was that I was saying about writer's block? Just got this idea for an essay. God's journal about the Creation. Here's part one.

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Chapter One: The First Day.

I did it! I finally did it. This whole universe project of mine is finally getting under way.

It seems like eons that I've been planning this out, but I've never actually done anything about it. Well, God, you've done it now! I just need to make sure I keep up the speed, because this first part was a real pain.

You never knows how your ideas are going to work out until they're staring you in the face, I suppose. That's certainly how Heaven and Earth and Light went. Looking back, it seems obvious that I should make Bright Things and Dark Things, but it certainly didn't present itself to me as an option at the time!

Heaven was easier than anything else, to be honest. My only problems cropped up when I got too far ahead of myself. I started creating the ultimate crash pad, a place I could really relax and be me, you know? And then I took a look at it all and it really looked terrible. Not a place a Supreme Being wants to be seen in. So I went really minimalistic, but I still like the white and gold theme. It seems so kingly.

But once I was done with Heaven, I stopped to look at how Earth was faring, and bam! That's when I knew I'd created the first fixer-upper. I mean, it didn't even have a form to it yet. All there was, was my spirit in the misty waters way down there. And it was dark, like everything else.

So what did I do? I took a chance. I made everything the opposite of how I envisioned it to be in my head. And hey! I had brightness and darkness. Brightness, I decided to call Light for short, and I divided Light and Dark into periods of time. I'm thinking “Day” and “Night” for names right now, but that's purely conjecture. Come to think of it, “Night” sounds a lot like “light.” I'll sleep on it if I get around to sleeping.

Oh! I didn't write about this yet, duh! Sleeping is this new thing I've been working on. Once I get around to making living creatures (oh man I'm so excited you have no idea), I'll make it so they all need to “rest” every day—take some time off from eating and running and reproducing. But they don't just lie around! Their minds kind of shut off for a little while, and they recharge their energy. I'm fuzzy on some of the details, but I'm sure they'll iron themselves out when I actually get into their creation processes.

But I'm getting ahead of myself again, and besides which I have more work to do. I'll check back later when I've got more news.

--Yhwh

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Sam's comments:

This has potential. I feel like it's too spare, but there's only so much in the first five verses of Genesis to work with. The rest will, I think, be more comedically inclined. This does tend to satisfy a low-level desire for blasphemy, and might even get any religious self-righteousness I have floating around in my system the hell out of there. If there's one thing I can't stand, it's a masturbatory monologue about the author's religious viewpoint. This might represent some part of mine, so if it's trash, at least I can get it out of the way right now. Also, I had the idea to make this into a whole book, God's commentary on the entire events of the Bible. But that could get really boring during the New Testament. I'll kick it around in my head for a while, see what comes up. (Oh shit, that means I'd actually have to read the Bible...)

Sam
listening to: Queen, "Sheer Heart Attack"
reading: "Girls With Slingshots" by Danielle Corsetto